Switch
by Soulreciever
Summary: Two men, two individual moments, one commen realisation. Character exploration, mixed cannon, slash, angst.
1. Tsuzuki

Switch.

1.Tsuzuki 

T: Another experimental YnM 'drabble series' chocked full of angst, slash, character exploration and other fun things! Beware the mixed canon and spoilers for the King of Swords arc. I own nothing you see here other than the plot bunny!

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He can still recall the first time he had set eyes on his partner, can recall the foolishness that had swept though him as he'd realised that he'd allowed himself to be scared by a child.

He'd believed the other arrogant, selfish, hot headed and far too dispassionate for one of his age. He'd also believed that, once they'd seen the case through, that the other would step away from his side and become yet another failure.

No matter how terrible Muraki's appearance had been, no matter the agony that the sadist had caused the boy, he had come to think of it as the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. For, in understanding what it was that that dark man had done to Hisoka he had begun to reassess his opinion had begun to look beyond the boy's harsh words and even harder actions.

Hisoka needed protection and warmth, needed so desperately to experience the world that had been denied to him while he had been living still and he'd made it his duty to give the boy all these things.

That duty had turned, very quickly, into a desire and suddenly it was as his greatest want to see the boy smile even just a little. Suddenly he was making silly little mistakes in the desperate hope of elicit even the slightest laugh from the other, was finding the most mediocre of excuses in order that he might, even for the briefest of instants, be able to touch the other.

Hisoka had just begun to respond to these innocent touches, had begun to show signs of trusting him and then _she_ had come between them.

It hurt him to see Hisoka responding so naturally to one who was practically a stranger, to see the other giving over his trust as though it was as the simplest of things. He'd believed this pain had been more because he felt that his partner had belittled the importance of their partnership right up until the moment that the boy crossed into the helicopter.

He'd watched the boy cry for _her_, for the guilt he felt for his part in his death and had understood, with painful clarity, why he had hated _her_.

Understood that he loved Hisoka unconditionally.

That understanding clear in his mind he'd pulled the boy into a fierce hug, desperate to remove the taint of the grief from the other's eyes and wishing for the boy to rely a little on him…

…to come to depend on his strength just as he had come to depend on _her_ gentle nature.

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T: There will be a Hisoka counterpart to this and it'll, most likely, make an appearance tomorrow avo. Until then why not review? You're opinion would be much appreciated!


	2. Hisoka

2. Hisoka.

T: Sorry it's slightly late…my Hisoka rant brain wouldn't co-operate last night! Warnings remain basically the same as the first chapter, though this is a little more angsty and is littered with potential spoilers for everything up to Kyoto! I own nothing you see here other than the plot bunny (such as it is!)

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He can barely recall a time in his life where the emotions of others did not linger always in the air about him. Can barely recall what it was to be a 'normal' boy who had a 'normal' future bright before him and parents tight at his side who would guide him through with kindness and unconditional love.

He had once hoped that he might, one day, be able to forget what it was to live with his empathy, to be battered daily with the sharp edges of feelings that were not his own and to eventually become numb to that pain…to everything.

Yet that desire, as with so very much of himself, had twisted into something else entirely after he had met Tsuzuki.

With unwavering patience the elder man had stood at his side, had tolerated his cruelty and his blind pride, and had given over so much of himself in order to assure his happiness.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he'd felt himself giving into that patience, felt the numbness of his past shedding away like an unwanted skin and, for the first time in the longest of whiles, he'd felt the desire to be close to another.

Yet it had only been when Tsuzuki's arms had furled about him after Tsubaki's death that he'd admitted these things to himself, that he'd begun to come to terms with the changes that his partner had instigated within him.

For a great while after that time he had mused, almost constantly, upon why he had allowed the other so very close and on why he wished so very desperately to know everything there was to know of the elder Shinigami.

Then they had come to Kyoto and as Tsuzuki had begun to drift away from him he had understood.

Had understood that he loved his partner unconditionally and wanted only the best for the elder man.

It was a revelation that had, initially, prompted him to let the elder Shinigami go, to allow him to take whatever action he believed would give him the happiness he so urgently desired and that had, with Tatsumi's gentle prompting, eventually driven him to the most desperate of lengths in the attempt to stop the other.

He'd suffered the pain of Oriya's blade and the desperate heat of Touda's flame in order to come again before Tsuzuki and then he'd offered the other everything he had left to offer, had given himself entirely in the hope that it might be enough.

In the hope that he might save his partner as the other had saved him countless of times before.

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T: Review?


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